The Pain Handbook

This book is the most brilliant piece of information I have read recently, 

it was printed in Adelaide, South Australia.

The explain PAIN & protectometer

No matter what your diagnosis or condition, 

nor how long you have had your pain for,

learning about PAIN is helpful.

However it does require 3 things:

Patience

Persistence

Courage

~

This book is based on scientific evidence,

written by a Neuroscience clinician - Lorimer Moseley and

David Butler an educator with clinical and research roles.

They have over 60 years between them of experience in this field.

Through reading this book we can understand:

- why we are hurting

- be able to tell others why

- know what methods of movement/exercise to use

- no how to help our pain

- be able to help others

- discover our dims & sims

(dim = danger in me message & safety in me message)

I found this awesome image via the Fibromyalgia & other ramblings BLOG:

https://kelliaellis.wordpress.com/category/fibromyalgia/ 

It's a very helpful blog.

Saturday's wash day

 12:01pm    Drinking: chilled water    

It's Saturday! 

Washing day here in overcast Seaford, South Australia. The pending heavy clouds threatening my clean washing with another nature's way rinse. Frowning up at the sky I think about crossing my fingers but know only too well that is an ability I no longer have. I hear my daughter swearing at our Jack Russell/Whippet - Skye, the words that pour out of her mouth are obscene and I am left with the feeling of disgust and even more so a deep sadness. Hubby tells me we should treat her the same way as she treats our dog. That is something I feel I am not able to do, nor do I really want to. Perhaps it is to appease hubby that I let the words roll off my tongue when I see that she is finished hanging up her washing. It certainly doesn't make me feel any better about the situation. 

Saturday's always leave me incredibly exhausted by the late afternoon and defeated - I usually don't get help from everyone in the house. My daughter (nearly 15 years old) spends her weekends in her room with the door shut, listening to music - usually on her noise cancelling headphones; and rarely if ever makes an appearance. Only if she needs or wants something. It is so terribly difficult getting her to do what I have asked when I have asked for it to be done. I ended up complaining to my hubby last night about this - he's a good (and my only) person I can vent to. He understands my fibro and what I go through and has been known to tell me to take a break, like today for instance, he wanted me to not do any house work today. I think that is wonderful that he's offered that for me, however in practicality the day won't roll out with me doing no housework. It hasn't so far. I knew I had to bring in one load of washing off of the line because we were running out of pegs for my daughter's load of washing. Yes I managed to get to get outside (a feat in itself). However I had left a couple of loads of washing on the line overnight - not realising that it was forecast to rain. Aaargh! Don't you hate it when that happens? Suffice to say the items on the line were all mostly damp still this morning.

The deal with the washing is that everyone is supposed to put their own load of dirty washing in the machine (not inside out). And then when it's done they're supposed to take it out and hang it up. Simple huh?

*Sighs.*

Anyway time to hang up another load.

new symptom of fibro

It's 6am, here in the motel in Lyndoch, yet another awfully uncomfortable sleep. I think it would be better sleeping on the floor. That in itself says a lot. 

Whether it's the flare up I am having I have developed some new symptoms to my fibro. That being the sensation of the floor moving and my legs giving way. Also a rush through my head - I guess like I'm going to faint.

I wonder if this is a vitamin deficiency?? D, B12 etc... I am supposed to be booking in a brain MRI, I've never had one so I'm feeling very apprehensive. I think it's already been two weeks since I saw my doctor. The MRI is to double check the other (not so new, now) symptom - body jolts, particularly in my head.

Feeling scared, very stressed and exhausted.

fibro flare

Omg my whole body is on fire, a few days away in the Barossa are supposed to be relaxing! Instead I am so tired and hurting so very much. 

My knees, my fingers, hands, feet, shoulders, hips, back... everything.  The bed in the motel is hard and  uncomfortable. I don't feel like me here.

Sleep does not come to those burning in pain. Pain meds not working this weekend.

Drinking: Lemonade    Listening to: Anthem Lights, Hymn Capella Album

I'm in a very volatile place at the moment, I've spent the better part of the day doing housework when really all I wanted to do was stay in bed and rest. I've picked up some bug and my throat and neck are so painful, I didn't sleep very well last night so that doesn't help the fibro much anyway; I didn't sleep well because of the pain in my throat. I woke up at some point and sucked on a throat lozenge then started falling asleep with it in my mouth! I hate it when that happens. 

I managed to clean the toilet this morning after making porridge for the boys and myself - which I made more for me then anyone, even if Henry (6) asked me to make it for him. And of course Blair (9) wants anything that Henry is having. Then I had some Vegemite toast to balance out the sweet porridge with some savoury - before a migraine triggered. Henry never ate his 2 slices, I kind of figured he wouldn't because I gave him so much porridge (oats). About 30 minutes later Blair decides that he wants toast as well. So I told him to eat Henry's slices. He stood there in the middle of the kitchen floor and ate both slices without any butter or condiments! Seriously! I told him to stop being so lazy. In hindsight I should have made him at least get out a plate.

Everything Blair has done today - has been done with little to no effort. He has chosen to not help with any of the dishes - not washing them, nor putting any away. (There was the equivalent of 3 days worth.) Even though I have allowed him to sit and watch YouTube for the better part of the day. And I let him watch a movie in his bedroom late yesterday. I allowed him to play with his sensory sand - even though it pisses me off when he gets little bits of it everywhere! And I mean literally everywhere.

On the other hand, Henry has not stopped showing me love, through hugs, smiles, or simply telling me that he loves me. So adorable. Somehow a little annoying but I try not to let it phase me so much, because one day he'll be a teenager (or a 9 year old!) Don't get me wrong he hasn't been all hugs and love today. He made a B-choice and decided to (attempt) to trash his scooter on the trampoline, and when that didn't work he tossed one of Blair's thong's over the fence. Which is kind of funny because I wasn't happy with Blair. 

Tilli (14) stayed last night (and tonight) at a friend's house. Which gives me a nice break from her - her teenage years have been so hard - and me being the empath that I am I have always found it so terribly hard to be just that - hard on my kids. I have gotten better over the years though - I have discovered a new sense of confidence. But lately it's more a case of:

    Yes, I am a Mum.    

No, I do not want to be a parent anymore.

And I know that's a thing with a lot of other mum's and parents, I have a few articles about it. Kids these days are so different - our generation tends to blame the Digital Revolution.

I just told hubby, via an instant message through fb, that I am very thankful that he opted to stay in our bedroom because it has stopped me from "hurting myself". I also told him that I thought he has taken my blade away from me because I couldn't find it in my drawer. Stupid me though I left it sitting in front of me whilst I started typing out this blog tonight. When he came over to embrace me - he took it away, sneakily. That made me feel a whole mix of emotions all at once, but most especially I felt thankful. And I know he has my best interest at heart. 

And in regards to the "hurting myself" over the past few years I have actually only attempted it twice, they have only ever been surface cuts. Insignificant - to me. Probably not to anyone else.

 

Hi there, not in a great head space tonight, I can't quite put my finger on it, though I did eventually tell hubby that I wasn't actually annoyed at him, I was not happy with number 9 - because he doesn't help out around the house; like he's supposed to. My head feels like an implosion - way too much going on inside it. I got the bum steer late this arvo on the phone - rung one number then got told I need to ring some other number, to then get told we're sorry for the wrong information, however the first people you rang were the ones who can fix the issue. So ALL that stress triggered my Endo pains instantly. 

Hubby ended up having a sleep late arvo about 5:30pm - even though he told me this morning that he didn't want to sleep today - whatever! He worked one big job this morning for a property that he does once a month I think. He said he was going to have an hour's rest - ahuh. I felt despondent about cooking dinner tonight, so I made something basic for the kids and decided not to cook anything for myself and figured hubby could make his own meal. All I really wanted was a pancake - but unfortunately to eat one of those I must make it myself. I ended up making two batches one sugar free and high in protein for hubby's health kick and another batch the usual basic pancakes. Both batches ended up being quite thick; which I guess is okay.

Oat & Protein Pancakes

2 medium size free range eggs

1 scoop of "very chocolate" flavoured 100% Whey protein powder

1/2 cup frozen mixed berries

1/2 cup rolled oats

1 cup of wholemeal flour

1 cup of self-raising flour

1 cup of (sugar free) tinned apples

1 cup or there-abouts of chilled water

~

1. Blitz oats with whey in blender until resembles crumbs, then pour into a mixing bowl.

2. Blitz apples in blender until smooth, add to oats mix.

3. Use Electric beaters to blend 2 eggs separately, then add to mix.

4. Sift in flour in 2 lots, add to mix.

5. Combine ALL ingredients

6. Pour chilled water into mix, gradually stirring until smooth and blended.

7. Let batter sit for 5-10 mins before pouring 10-15cm rounds into hot, lightly sprayed with oil pan.

~

Serve pancakes with a dollop of sugar free berry yoghurt and a handful of fresh mixed berries. If you're not on a health kick swirl a little Queen's sugar-free Maple Syrup on top.

Bon Appetit!

 Drinking: Caramel Latté  |   Listening to:  Spotify - Acoustic Voices

A beautiful day today outside - less like Autumn in South Australia and more like a Spring day, blue skies as far as the eye can see, everybody's lawns are greening up too. The gardens tell us when Easter is nearly here as the Easter Lillies are already flowering. 

I somehow managed to get my butt out of bed today and eat my weetbix/blueberries and yoghurt with my number 6 year old before hubby took both boys to school at 8:30am. Somehow by 9:30am  I had done some housework - sweeping the lino on the kitchen floor is really tedious but it has to be done; the bending at the waist really kills my hip. It's like it gets locked up no matter how much stretching I do bloody Bursitis. Now according to my GP she thinks that the hip bursitis should have cleared up ages ago - but it hasn't! It's been intermittent pain usually a little tight and problematic in the morning, then loosens up during the day a bit until I have to start bending over to pick up tiny bits of crap from the floor. That's when it really starts to give me hell! By the end of the day [everyday now] it's awfully painful. I do however have a tendency to keep pushing through the pains; especially at dinner time when by that time of the day I am over tired already. Make dinner for 5 - and to make it worse not everyone eats the same thing. So infuriating! Clear away dishes, tidy kitchen, wash dishes, feed the dogs and the cat; if it's a school night prep the boys lunches for the next day... by that time I am suffering killer back and hip pains - especially if I started with them. 

The only pain relief I take are over the counter medication - 2 paracetamol and 3 ibuprofen, usually a dose in the evening before dinner [crazy time] then another dose before bed. The meds only work if I have some food in my belly. The meds are the only thing that helps me push past the pains and get dinner on the table. Yes I know it's a pretty lame dose of pain killers, but seriously nothing else works, I see no point in taking stronger meds like a forte version or opiods like codeine because they just don't help with my pains. Not even the Endometriosis let alone the Fibromyalgia. When I first was diagnosed with Fibro my GP prescribed a [non-repeat] dose of Lyrica because I had tried someone else's dose and it worked for some of my pain. I no longer take Lyrica - overall it didn't really help me, neither did Valium. 

I saw my physio today at Marion Physiotherapy - it had been 6 months since our last visit, although I have so many issues and pains going on, statistically there has been some improvement since my last visit, and more so since I first presented myself to the clinic in early 2020; following my diagnosis of Fibro in late 2019.

Oh and by the way - I finally made it down to the beach this morning - the walk, although short, was lovely even if hubby wore his work steel-caps on the sand whilst I walked ankle deep in the water.

Dinner needs to be served then it's off to the shops to help my 14 year old daughter get a job in retail.