Wednesday, February 3, 2021


I so desperately need "me time".
I need time out from everyone else's emotions and thoughts AND needs.
My brain and my empathetic nature is in overload.
My head hurts - deep inside and out.

I can't seem to get any time to myself, any true time.
I'm tired of being there for everyone.

I guess for you to imagine what it's like, think of a million voices whispering in your head all at once, some talking loud, some talking louder.

And your body, aching, sore, tender, burning.

--

I have been playing a mind game of late:
I imagine myself packing a small bag, and heading down south for the weekend.
I am - just me - by myself.
No digital devices.
A place to recapture me.
To breathe again.

--

It's so incredibly hard living daily with Fibro and Endo and PTSD AND having to constantly be on the watch for ALL of my garden plants and house decor; in case number 9 decides to destroy something. AGAIN.

I need to check out, somehow.
The violence of January 11th has not settled within me, and has been proven since that is still an issue in the home - sadly.



- Odé to be an innocent child again, growing up in a world where digital devices hardly existed.

 

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