May 19th 2023 Grandma placed on End of Life Care.
I did go to see Grandma near the end. I did witness her in the last moments of life. I was not there when she died though. We all were able to see her one last time on Mother's Day 2023. She was happy then, like she was able to say goodbye to us all and her grandchildren, her great grandchildren. It was after mother's day that she went downhill fast. Grandma was 101 when she passed away and was laid to rest with her beloved husband who had passed away some years early in 1997.
May 21st 2023 Grandma passed away at 5am.
June 2nd Grandma's funeral.
Not long after Grandma's funeral Tilli had a drunken weekend away with her friends.
June 9th-12th 2023 Tilli was staying at Mt Compass with a female friend and some other mates.
June 20th 2023 Tilli left to stay over at a mates place Kyle. Kyle is a best mate of her bf's.
Then she was MIA for a few days and I didn't know where she was, I couldn't find her anywhere, so I called the police and got them involved.
At 4am on Wed 28th June police found her at Bella's house near our home in Seaford. I was told via the police that Tilli was too scared to come home as she was pregnant and feared what Reece might say or do. Tilli appeared to be rather irrational at this time and confused by what had happened. We had made it clear to Tilli that she was welcome home and it was safe for her to be here and that we would all get through this pregnancy together. I was shocked to find out about the pregnancy through the police. I was shocked to find out she was pregnant. That she had had sex with her ex, that she was still seeing her ex even though he had put her through hell.
We learned later that her ex-bf's parents were not aware at all that he had sex with Tilli nor had gotten her pregnant.
Tilli stayed at Bella's House til about the 30th June 2023 then returned home.
18th & 31st July 2023 - we all had a counselling session with Austin at Uniting Care, Christies Beach.
Tilli spent occasional weekends at her bf's house between July - October 2023.
28th August 2023 - we all had a counselling session with Austin at Uniting Care, Christies Beach.
8th September 2023 - I sought out advice about Tilli from a family friend who had been through a similar situation.
11th September 2023 - Session with Austin. all of us.
On the 2nd October 2023, Tilli had her boyfriend meet her at our house in the morning, she let him inside, so she could get changed before a beach visit with him, and I confronted her telling her that he needed to wait outside the front door and not be in the house. She refused to accept this rule. And once they both returned from the beach Reece told her that she was not allowed back in the house. Arguments occurred. Life was difficult and a mess. Reece re-worded his reasoning and threats were made. During the time Tilli was at home following her first break up with her bf she would often say out loud that she wanted to kill herself, the boys would hear this and it wasn't a safe environment.
Tilli grabbed a few things after the beach that day and stayed at her bf's house for the rest of October.
Many nasty and hurtful messages were sent and received, blame and other crap. She told me that her bf's mum was allowing her to live there with them indefinitely. Her bf dad was a major issue though he is a drunk and gets violent. He works 2 weeks away and comes home for 1 week. There have been issues in the past with his alcohol.
In October 2023 I officially decided it was time to tell Tilli she was not allowed to come home. A decision I had to decide on my own.
DCP rang me - 7th November 2023, I found out that Tilli was being evicted from her bf's house and that she was no longer welcome there, she needed to find somewhere else to stay. DCP was involved for her safety. Prior to this Tilli had been placed on a wait list for housing and was trying to seek welfare income to assist her with school. She was back at high school but not in paid employment.And she along with her bf had spent all of her money saved from when she was working.
I told the DCP that Tilli coming home to live would be a last resort as I could not put the boys through that trauma again. I contacted my dad to let him know that Tilli was going to be homeless as of Wednesday 9th November. But, I had purposefully not asked my parents to take Tilli in until she had finished high school at least, because of their situation - Dad's grief and mum's treatment. And having to look after nearly daily my sister's child. I later learned that my dad had then rung Tilli and had organised to pick her up from her bf's house along with the things that she had with her there, on the 9th November.
I think they had thought that I was being silly about the whole thing and that I would in fact allow Tilli to come home. And I am fully aware of my responsibilities as a parent until she turns 18. Whatever legalities that throws me it will have to be this way as I cannot allow Tilli to live with us whilst she remains in a relationship with her bf.
For the moment my parents have not seen her nasty side, they have only seen her sweetness. And I am thankful for that, thankful that they are being strict on her and making her gain employment, making her get mental health help. Making her get her license. And helping her stay in highschool and finish it. Not to say that I didn't do any of those things for her.
The problem with Tilli is that no matter what help I gave her or sought for her she didn't want any of it, she didn't feel she had mental health problems ever! Throughout the time we left her biological to now I guess. I tried so many times to get her help and to help her, unfortunately she has some tendencies like her biological father. I have had to face many types of manipulation from Tilli throughout 2023, gaslighting... It is truly hard having to read the things she writes me. But I have come to know the differences in her style of writing since she has not been living here. I can tell when she is with her bf and when she is with my mum her nonni, by the way she messages me through text.