New facebook personal blog

Drinking: water

I have just created a reflection of this blog on the facebook platform as well, for anyone who prefers facebook to here. The link is > https://www.facebook.com/bohemiansolitude

Take care.

Massages & Linden Tea

 Drinking: bottled water

Am in killer pain tonight, burning... aching... pains down my outer thighs, across my upper buttocks/lower back. Both hips.. so painful that it's all I can but cry to cope with the pain.

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I wish I had a husband that gave me massages. I feel so sad about it, I never ask him for one (these days) because he doesn't give me a proper healing massage. I stopped getting ones from physio because people just don't understand my body - I cannot handle the deep tissue pressure of touch. It has to be a gentle massage. I think this is causing me a bit of resentment because it reminds me of an ex who would only give me a massage if I gave him a happy ending one..

I hate this. I hate fibromyalgia. It is the worst most awful thing I have had to suffer with. There is no medication that can relieve the pains of it. There is no restful sleep. There is daily pain on some level. I can't do many physical things these days - washing the dishes kills me, I had no empathy or anyone else tonight, not even my husband. I struggled to wash the dishes, to feed the dogs after dinner, to even make the dinner. I know exactly where I should have been - I should have been in bed, resting my body, smothered in heat bags. It would be so nice to feel hands touching my skin that relieved the pain I feel without hurting me in the process.

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I have been introduced to a tea brand that may assist with a decent night sleep - Twinings Sleep Well the main ingredient that does help with a restful sleep is Linden It suggests it may benefit inflammation and some pain as well as a restful sleep.

The first night I tried it I had one mug of tea, and it felt like i had been drugged, I literally sat on the couch and my eyes kept twitching shut. However when I went to bed I woke up an hour in, and still did not have a good night's sleep.

The second night I tried it, I had two mugs of the tea.. I drank the first one slowly, then got up and made another cuppa. That did the trick, I went to bed - woke up after about an hour (again) and then slept through the rest of the night. And woke up early the next day - too early, I felt so groggy. Good thing I was the passenger in the car and not driving as I drifted off to sleep. very easily.

I am going to do some more research into the Linden component particularly in regards to Fibromyalgia.

 Drinking: Peppermint Tea 

Whoops! I swear I didn't forget to blog in August, life has been so hectic and a little bit on the awful side. 

My husband and my daughter (15 year's old) had a huge blow-up and I rung the police. It was a very confronting thing seeing him in handcuffs. That part wasn't because I rung the cops, that was because he became all irrational and wouldn't comply with what they were telling him to do. Our boys saw him in handcuffs after I collected them from school, so that was a bit of an ordeal for them. So the cops ended up taking him to Noarlunga emergency where he was assessed by the mental health triage. The "nemhs" team were involved for a couple of weeks, and were fairly certain that this angry outburst of hubby's was a hiccup. (Compared to last time, a few years ago.) Anyway we're still getting over all of that, except for hubby, he didn't take long - never really does. Our child support worker has been involved and we are finally getting some services in place for #10. She's helped me fill out a referral form for the Star Bear program which is run through Anglicare. It is for children who are grieving after the loss of a sibling or loved one in their life. It is a weekend camp where the child can go to escape everyday life and grieve for the their loss. I am really keen for #10 to experience the Star Bear camp because he has never been allowed to grieve the loss of his (maternal) mum; the death that he witnessed and that we believe was not accidental.

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More Helpful Links:

Trauma/Grief   |   Suicide/Self-Harm   |   

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Today is Father's Day in South Australia, I wasn't able to spend any of it with my dad, because mum is having surgery after the weekend and needed to prep (special dietary changes) for it.